Joseph’s Difficult Dilemma

Understanding the marriage customs that were prevalent in the lands and during the times the Bible was written, let’s consider the record of Joseph and Mary on the night they were to come together and consummate their marriage. He faced a quite difficult dilemma.

Matthew 1:18 and 19: "Now [But] the birth [gennesis: the begetting] of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused [betrothed] to Joseph, before they came together, she was found [was discovered] with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily."

Mary having been betrothed to Joseph, before their living together and having sexual intercourse, was discovered to have a child in the womb by the Holy Spirit – God. Mary was at least three months pregnant.

Let’s backtrack for a moment to establish that she was at least three months pregnant.

The angel Gabriel told Mary that she was going to conceive by divine conception. After this encounter Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth. Elizabeth “was barren and they both were well stricken in years,” but God had sent an angel to Zacharias her husband and told him that God had heard his prayer and that his wife would have a son – John the Baptist. This record begins in Luke 1:5.

We are told in Luke 1:26, that in the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, the angel Gabriel delivered the message to Mary that she would give birth by divine conception. After Mary conceived by divine conception, Mary went to visit Elizabeth and stayed with her for three months according to Luke 1:56.

Now let’s return to the record of Joseph and Mary the night that they were to come together for the first time and consummate their marriage.

Joseph was a just man, meaning that he lived according to the law given to Moses. According to the law he had two options: he could have Mary stoned to death, or he could give her a bill of divorcement. In their culture, Joseph was faced with a monumental, life changing decision.

He was torn; he did not want to consummate his marriage with Mary knowing that she was already pregnant, but he did not want to publicly disgrace her either. Joseph decided to put her away secretly, as inconspicuously as possible.

While he contemplated their situation, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a vision.

Matthew 1:20: "But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream [vision], saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost."

“Raised from sleep”, is used of being awakened to revelation in Zechariah 4:1. “And the angel that talked with me came again, and waked me, as a man that is wakened out of his sleep.” Matthew said, “While he thought on these things, behold the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream [a vision] ….” Joseph saw and heard the revelation.

The angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a vision and said, “Fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife”. “To take unto thee”, means to have intercourse with Mary.

Why was he not to be afraid? “For that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit [God]”.

Instead of divorcing her, the angel told him to consummate his marriage to Mary; go ahead and have sexual intercourse with her. Mary had not conceived by another man; God supplied the seed for Jesus’ conception. The angel then told Joseph:

Matthew 1:21-25: "And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name Jesus."

The angel told Joseph that Mary would deliver a son. It was Joseph’s responsibility to name the child, so the angel told him to name him Jesus because, “he shall save his people from their sins”. The Aramaic says, “. . . for he will make alive his people from their sins.”

The prophecy, “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.” is recorded in Isaiah.
Isaiah 7:14: Therefore the Lord Himself shall give you a sign; Behold a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.

As God was with the male child that was born in Isaiah’s time, so He would be with Mary’s son, also. “Immanuel” means, God with us.

Consequently, the prophecy spoken hundreds of years earlier was fulfilled according to God’s timetable.

Joseph obeyed the angel and “took unto him his wife”, meaning he had intercourse with Mary and they consummated their marriage. Mary was a virgin when she conceived by divine conception.

He “knew her not” is another eastern expression which means to have intercourse which produces a child. Joseph and Mary did not have intercourse that produced a child until after Jesus was born.

Jesus was Mary’s firstborn son, but she had other children after this. Matthew reveals this.

Matthew 13:54-56: "And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter’s son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?"

Mary had four other sons and at least two daughters by Joseph. Jesus was her firstborn; he was God’s only begotten Son. The Word of God makes it clear that Mary was a virgin when God miraculously provided the seed for the conception of His Son, but she was not a virgin at the time of Jesus’ birth.

Mary was like any other woman physically. Her genealogy met the necessary requirements to bear the promised seed, and she believed the Word of God as it was delivered to her.

I can read the words in these eight verses in Matthew, but it is hard to put myself in Joseph’s shoes; he was faced with quite a dilemma. He went from discovering Mary’s pregnancy, knowing that it wasn’t by him and wondering how to divorce her, to receiving revelation from the angel of the Lord that she had conceived by divine conception, she would have a son and he was to name him Jesus; he would save God’s people from their sins, and oh yes, go ahead and consummate your marriage. What a night!